


Remember the Day

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2018 [52]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Brain Damage, Brain Surgery, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e06 The Shrine, First Kiss, M/M, Mutual Pining, Parasites, Prompt Fill, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 04:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15788862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for 100 Words on Childhood prompt:Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard, he was the one struck with Second Childhood in The ShrineIn which John is losing his mind and Rodney refuses to give up.





	Remember the Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nagi_schwarz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/gifts).



Rodney was the first one to notice something was wrong, which was no surprise considering what a close study he’d made of John Sheppard over the years. It had started with the cold John developed after that disastrous mission to M44-5YN – Rodney hadn’t been a big fan of being submerged in water ever since the incident with the crashed ‘jumper – but the fever was the least of it.

“Hey, buddy,” John said when Rodney went to visit him in the infirmary.

“Oh, no. What’s wrong?” Because John was smiling and _happy_ , instead of insisting he was fine so he could get back to work. “How serious is it?”

And John laughed, his big donkey laugh, and an icy finger of dread worked its way down Rodney’s spine.

“He’s perfectly fine, Rodney. His fever broke and he just needs to push some fluids.”

Jennifer was no Carson, not by a long shot, but she was competent enough to deal with a cold. Or so Rodney told himself. Maybe John was just happy to have such a pretty doctor taking care of him.

There were so many other signs, though, and Rodney found himself keeping a mental checklist. Every time John was being touchy-feely with someone, every time he expressed an actual emotion, every time he made a mistake at Prime/Not Prime, Rodney took note of it. And the conclusion he drew was not good.

“You need to test him again,” Rodney said. “There’s something wrong with him.”

Jennifer gave him that condescending doctor look that Rodney hated so, so much. “Colonel Sheppard is fine.”

“He’s _not_ fine! His mental capacity has diminished by a noticeable percentage and you need to do your job!” Rodney narrowly refrained from jabbing her in the shoulder with his finger. “I’m Colonel Sheppard’s health proxy, in case that slipped your mind.”

That hadn’t gone over well, but by that point other people had noticed there was a problem with John. Major Lorne expressed concern regarding John’s performance at the firing range, and with some of the paperwork. Ronon and Teyla both reported that John’s hand-to-hand training had deteriorated. He was forgetting the names of his Marines, and what offworld teams they were on.

Jennifer only relented after John amiably agreed to return to the infirmary for more tests, which was a sign even she couldn’t ignore. Rodney would’ve taken joy in her contrite apology when the scans proved he was right, had been right all along, but the news was dire.

John had a parasite in his brain and there was no way to remove it without doing irreparable brain damage. Which hardly mattered since the parasite was doing that already. It was a lose-lose situation, and one that Rodney couldn’t abide.

“There has to be something we can do,” he insisted. “Colonel Sheppard is too valuable to…to the…we need him at full mental capacity!”

To that end Rodney redirected the entirety of the science department. He had his staff combing through the Ancient database looking for any information on the parasite, or conditions similar to John’s. Ronon told them about Second Childhood, and the Shrine of Talus, and so Rodney added those terms into the search. He went through every Ancient artefact they had on hand to see if there were any that could be of use.

“You need to sleep,” Teyla said, bringing him coffee.

“I’ll sleep when we fix this,” he replied.

“And if we cannot?”

Rodney shook his head in denial. “I can fix this,” he insisted.

Teyla put her hands on his shoulders and kissed the back of his head, and Rodney found himself embarrassingly close to tears.

*o*o*o*

Jennifer kept a digital video log of John, having him recite the same information every day to track the progression of the brain damage. Rodney had hijacked the feed, of course, because he needed to know. He just…being there in person would be way too hard.

Name, rank and serial number took a long time for John to forget, but Rodney figured that was one of those second-nature things that had been so ingrained by the military not even a parasite could remove it. But eventually John lost that, too. 

_My name is John. Sometimes people call me Johnny, but I don’t like that._

_Do you remember what your job is?_

_Um…I think I was a boss? Like…a soldier?_

_That’s right. You’re Colonel Sheppard._

_Where’s Rodney?_

_He’s working hard to find a way to help you._

_He’s really smart. Do you know him? He’s my best friend._

_Can you tell me –_

_Rodney! Do you think he wants Jello? I should get him Jello. He forgets to eat sometimes. Who’s gonna remind him now?_

*o*o*o*

“Radek! Where are we on the Shrine of Talus?”

“Shut up and let me work.”

Rodney didn’t argue. They were running out of time. He went through the artefact catalogue once and then again to make sure he didn’t miss anything. The only reason he went back to his room was to get at his hidden stash of stimulants because Jennifer refused to give him more.

He wasn’t expecting to see John curled up on his bed, eyes red like he’d been crying.

“John? Are you okay?”

“I’m gonna forget all this,” John said, his voice thick with emotion.

Rodney sat down next to him. “I can still fix it.”

“Atlantis is my home. And it’s all going away.”

What was he supposed to say to that? John sounded so scared and full of grief for everything he was losing, and Rodney felt that right along with him. Somewhere in the last five years John had become the most important person in Rodney’s life. Not having him in it was unthinkable.

“Come on.” Rodney tugged John up off the bed and grabbed a couple of beers out of his minifridge. “Let’s get some air.”

They went out to the pier, what Rodney had come to think of as _their_ pier. They sat on the edge, legs dangling, so close they were pressed together from shoulder to thigh. Rodney hoped John found it as comforting as he did.

“I could wake up tomorrow,” John said. “And it’ll all be gone. There’s stuff I never got to say.”

“No,” Rodney snapped. “I don’t want to hear your deathbed confessions. You don’t get to dump that on me just to relieve your conscience.” 

John ducked his head and Rodney could feel the hitch in his breath as much as hear it. “This is really hard.”

“Understatement of the year, Sheppard.”

“I don’t want to forget you,” John said, and his voice was small, a scared child’s voice.

Rodney threw caution to the wind and put his arm around John’s shoulders. “You won’t, okay? I won’t let you.”

“You’re my home, too. Not just Atlantis.” John looked up at him, eye lashes spiky with tears, and Rodney kissed him, his own tears burning in the back of his throat. It was wonderful and terrible all at once, and Rodney wished they’d done it sooner, when it wouldn’t have felt like the last time.

“You’ll remember this, okay?” Rodney said fiercely, his forehead resting on John’s. “And I’ll remember it, and we’ll be okay.”

*o*o*o*

If Rodney could’ve willed that parasite out of John’s head, he’d have done it. Luckily, the improbably named Dr. Peace, a zoologist of all people, finally found the Shrine of Talus in the Ancient database. It was radiation, strong enough to force the parasite to temporarily shrink. The natives used the Shrine as a way to restore their loved ones long enough to have a proper goodbye, but Rodney had no plans to do the same.

“I’ll see you after,” Rodney promised before Jennifer sedated John.

“I won’t forget.” John clung tightly to Rodney’s hand. 

At great risk to his own life and limb, Rodney stayed by John’s side as ionizing radiation was used in increasing amounts until the scans showed the parasite had retracted. Jennifer drilled a small hole through John’s skull – Rodney almost threw up watching that – and was able to pull the parasite out.

After that it was a waiting game. Jennifer kept John sedated while she monitored his brain activity and gave him a chance to heal. Rodney gave his staff a day off, and finally got some sleep himself. There was no sense hovering over John’s bed while he was still under, worrying about whether or not the damage caused by the parasite would repair itself or if John would be mentally diminished for the rest of his life.

Luck was with them, though. When John woke up he was almost back to his normal self, and Jennifer assured them all that, while it might take another couple of weeks, he’d be fully recovered.

“I remember,” John confided when he and Rodney were alone.

“I told you we’d be okay. And I’m always right.”

The second kiss was better, because it was a beginning. And Rodney wasn’t wasting one more moment with John.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** Title from the song [Losing Your Memory](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ffp5vPyU2cI) by Ryan Star. According to my Word document, this fic is 1500 words exactly, which is good since it was supposed to be a multiple of 100. ::grins:: Thanks for the great prompt, Nagi!


End file.
